hiee. after reading fwedewick brog, moii ish gort inspired tuu brog in dish wae rohhs. kekex. but hors moii ish dunch nose huat tuu brog rehhs. aiyarhs, neber mind rahhs.

uh huh!!!! moii ish tell euu all how my fwen tok in msn huans. the way my fwen tok hors ish sometimes make me sibei sibei kanpua kanpua tmd turans chiu all nose! pu boh rehs

rike for axe-sum-pur hors.....

KE: hey. *bla bla bla bla bla bla* (bla bla bla leefers tuu anything chiu can tok about)

my fwen: hahahhah oh ok.

KE: *begins cursing* [cheesepie how you huans moii tuu repry dish] sho iee anyhow repry my fwen. or press the button on the top left corner of my keyboard, which ish esc rohs

my fwen:hahahaha oh ok / hahahhhah (dat's if iee repry)

after that, dish time ish dunch nid think of huat to repry. just press esc. teeheeheee.



-----
*prease note dat the berow part gort nose rink with above worzxzxzx*
-----

dunch nose chiu all understand stand bohzxzx. but den horsss.....

ip stEwPeD PeEpUr dUncH sAe sTeWpIg tuuiNgs hOrS, dEnT hUaT kAi oRb tuUiNgS cAn dEy sHaY hOrs?









































sigh u all sure dont understand

let me tell u all rohs.

*if stupid people don't say stupid things, then what kind of smart things can they say?

Sian.. my friend keep say i mint.

why ah? i think i not mint leh.

i think i sweet.

hor?

harlox.

show u all smth.

me is stare at this screen for like half an hour already. but i dont know how to start. this is getting so cheesepie. last week of attachment = reportsssss. really is egg fry duck egg.

hello you all good (你们好). teeheeheee.

i changing my name already. although kuanee sounds cool, nice, charming and boomz. but then i changing to a more boomz one. from today onwards, u all can call me Emotional Tan. or can call me 陈伤心。 or full name is call Emotional Tan Shang Xin. I got a nickname. It's call sibei. so u all can call me, sibei Emotional Tan Shang Xin.

remember ok!

hello.

The post regarding me having zha bor peng you is kidding one. those clever people who believed me = tsk tsk.

ok. i am sad.

byebye.

i remembered last time i spam one of my friends around 200 sms, and it took me around 20 to 30 mins. today i spammed miss ong ying ting, 315 sms, and it took me like..... 1 min. oh man....

Yingting. says (11:16 PM):
I GO OFF LIAO. SAY BYEBYE, YOU ASS

KuanEe why ah why says (11:16 PM):
LOL
BYEBYE, YOU ASS

i

finally

got

girlfriend

alreadyyyyyy.

teeheeheeeeeeee.

she

finally

agreed

after

so long......

tee
hee
heeeeee

thank
you

to

my

friends

for

your

wishes.

teeheeheee...


but cannot tell you all is who. kekex!

=D

harlox. now ishh five pee em. although moii ish juz brog like 2 mee neats aghost, but iee really ish sheebei sheebei de bo riaos.

huat shoot iee brog a bao reh??? (ok la for those low iq one like rihuix, i think u all dont understand. i saying "what should i blog about leh).

tudae ish duidaes, means iee left 8 mu-orh daes furr mu-ai attachment rehhs. kekex. me ish eggcited naos. butttttttt den horsssss, whiee the time ishh still pu-ask sho slowri huhs?

moii ish eggcited for attachment tuu ends, but not eggcited furr skool tuu starts rehs. HOW AH HOW!!!


ok... i type until want whack myself alrd. type that few sentences waste my 15 mins. you know why i want whack myself?

i know u know. u know i know. i know you know i know. u know i know u know. i know u know i know u know. u know i know u know i know. ok know ur ass la. tmd. byebye la

today, i was given a very challenging task to do by my supervisor. i see the task i stunned there for 10 mins. Looking at the machine. Thinking how to operate that god damn machine. i look left look right look up look down look front look back, still dont know how to operate.

Then i decided to take risk. i put the documents inside, and anyhow press. then still cannot work. then i angry. u know i angry that time damn fierce one. i tell the machine, if you dont want work, i let u talk to my pink little dragon on my back. then i type in the user id, and press one button. THEN THE MACHINE STARTED WORKING. yuan lai the machine is scared of my dragon.

ok laaa. i actually not very fierce one. u all know what's the task that i was given? so easy u all also dont know. is photocopy documents lor. u all dont laugh laugh say i dont know how to use the simple machine ok... teeheeheeee

I got a cheesepie laptop. the cheesepie charger dont want to work properly. Then i ended adjusting the cheesepie wire for like 15 mins. then i see hope, finally got light. means can use. but then i need take the cheesepie wire up. if i put the cheesepie wire down, cannot work.

UH HUH!!!! then the smart me, went to take something.... and i fixed the cheesepie wire!!

Yingting. said (12:00 AM):

I GO OFF LIAO



KuanEe why ah why said (12:00 AM):

GAHAHAOKOK



Yingting. said (12:00 AM):

SAY BYEBYE ASS



KuanEe why ah why said (12:00 AM):

GOODNIGHT

BYEBYE ASS

SAY ALR

LOL!



Yingting. said (12:00 AM):GDNIGHT BYEEEEEEEE







why my friend so cute. she ask me call her ass leh. really is stupid ass. teeeee-asss-kae. tsktsk..

cheesepie. why is it always raining like there is no tomorrow when i am about to leave the cheeseyyypie company?

yu yu zou kai... gai tian zai lai...

rain rain go away... come again another day.

TGIF. Thank gastric it's friday.

My gastric also damn happy and excited that today is friday. so, he decided to give me some excitement and entertainment. i love u gastric. if you continue to give me excitement and entertainment, i will take a knife and stab you. Dont make me angry, i very fierce one ok. When i fierce, i also scared of myself. So, Gastric you better be smart. If not i let you talk to my tattoo, my small little pink dragon behind me.

Teeheeheee. Good the Bye.

sian. school starting soon.



hope i can maintain this result.

cheesepie my 2 friends took mc then pon paper. then took alternative paper. both lihui and yuhyang got distinction for the business law paper. sigh. i ish jealous.





























































































































































D for Distinction.




















































sigh.. why ah whyyyy

i think my life sucks. after reading yianping's blog post abt 9 deadly words used by women, i then realised.......

my ex-girlfriend is always scolding me F-you. SIGH!

Hello. If you all nothing do can go link desmond from my blog. i think quite funny. the ghost thing and the ninja maid or what sai one.

ok desmond teoh kai ming, i just help you advertise. you got learn marketing right. this advertisement will run for 30 days before being removed. 1 day i will charge you $50. 30 days later u pay me ok. u want pay by installment also can la. i very easy going one.

i tell u guys one secret. today is thursday. thursday is a good day teeheeeheee. dont tell u all why. tell u all one more secret. tomorrow is fri. fri is also a good day. u all know why? tmd u all dunno why? cos it's fryday leh. i lubzxzx fryday deep deep. <3

ok waittttt. what's the purpose of this post? oh shingz i forget. let me think. let me think.. let me think... eh u all can tell me what i wanted to blog? i forget alr leh. how ah how.

(5hours 5 mins 5 secs later)

ogays! i rmb what i wanted to blog alr. Yesterday i also died! almost die on the train! not because there were some unknown virus or terrorist, it's because of some black cheesepie! ok now that i am thinking of it, they seriously look like some terrorist. and they look damn gay, touch here touch there. terrorist got gay one or not ah? imagine one terrorist tell u, "hi i am a terrorist. i am gay =D". u all will laugh at him? ok better dont laugh at him if someone tells u that, later he throw one bomb inside ur mouth then explode then u ish www.gg.com.sg alr.

ok back to the pointxzx. yesterday got 2 black cheesepies standing behind me. their smell is like... like... dunno how to describe leh. u all now go downstairs, open the rubbish bin and put ur head inside for 10 mins and smell. then u all will know the 2 black cheesepie is what smell.

They smell bad still never mind, they still pua stunt chu pattern play badminton. starting, one of the black cheesepie is holding the handrail/pole/metal bar/nabeh i dunno what sai la. then u know he raise his hand damn high. then wah. the smell is super strong. almost fainted from it. then still nvm. after like 2 stops, both black cheesepie want pua stunt. now the 1st cheesepie raise both hands. i think he trying to show off his armpit smell. nabeh he confirm 3 years nvr wash his armpit. arbo he sure everyday take shit and wash one. then the 2nd cheesepie maybe like his smell, so he also raise one hand. wah, then i ish want diezxzx riaos. want move away, but then behind got many many ppl. ish like people mountain people sea. sigh. then me ish tahan the black cheesepie smell all the way to yishun.

sigh. byebye airbry huans. moii go lerr. :'(

i need a life. i need a life i need a life.

suddenly feel like watching movie. huo yuan jia.

霍霍 霍霍霍 霍霍霍霍家拳的套路招式灵活

i went to see doctor just now. sigh. doctor told me i have an allergy. i didnt know i am allergic to it until 20 years later. faaaaaaaaking cheesepie, i faaaaaaaaaaking loser. friends, i didnt know i am such a loser.

















































































































































































sigh. if u all concern abt me, u all will think what am i allergic to. if u all not my friends, and u all think is funny, go bang the wall.





















































































































































i went to consult doc tan, from sembawang 335 clinic.




Doc Tan: Did u realise u have an allergy?

KE: huh? what? i dont have la u dont anyhow. want cheat my money buy medicine is it?

Doc Tan: come on. doctors dont lie.

KE: Doctor so what? ur little brother longer is it?

Doc Tan: ok nvm. u are allergic to Microsoft Excel and Access. Symptoms when come in contact with those 2 virus, you tend to scold all the vulgarities in you mind.

[ *KE recalls what happened in office... *

Supervisor: Pls do testing for bla bla bla..... (using a program and excel)

KE: ok sure (inside my heart: FUCKING CHEESEPIE NABEH TMD FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU!! EXCEL AGAIN FUCK U EXCEL. EXCEL UR MOTHER EAT SHIT. EXCEL UR FATHER IS ACTUALLY UR BROTHER. UR EXCEL FAMILY ALL DIE TONIGHT. NABEH CHEESEPIE KNNNNNNNNN TMDDDDD) ]

KE: SHIT I HAVE ALLERGY. OMG

Everything goes left.

The 1369 records in excel owned me deep deep.

KuanEe got owned.

KuanEe got thrashed.

But, fuck the people who typed those records. Hope they eat dinner eat alrd lao sai. lao alrd they go eat. den lao again. den go eat. den lao again. den repeat for 363 days. 1 day off for them. hope they lao till their face like hulk. bin qi qi (face green green).

The people who typed the records, what pattern also chu ga liao. The record was supposed to be "liftgate", they typed it as lifegate, fiftgate, lifgate and everything you can think of. i think the person who typed it as lifegate really should die. eat shit. i still hell gate. faaaaaaaa keeeeeee your lifegate.

Hello.

This morning ish no mood. But my good friend message me.

Good friend: ke seriously fuck you la. you really go post (that blog post on 12th march. u all go see last sentence. got evidence one) tat on your blog wtf!! go die pls zzz (ok i think he sleepy so he zzz)

KE: LOL. you say ok de lei!

Good friend: i ask you go die you dun go?! wtf. i very long nv go see you (i think he trying to say "your") blog. just go see only i scroll scroll scroll. saw tat one. i msg you liao. cb la! post for what?! (ok he getting more and more agitated)

KE: You say ok one lei. Now you like that blame me. I ish will sad de lei :(

Good friend: tell you ok den you go post zzz (he say ok i of cos is post right? dont post ppl say i kum gong. anyway can see he tired. zzz). dun blame you den blame myself meh? you say gene i aso (i think he trying to say "also" but he hungry la he eat away the "l") nv go disturb. you say i reply only you go POST! (ok actually i dunno what he trying to say la but nvm i act as if i know)

*[hello gene, if you happen to see this post, i apologise for saying you. me ish very the sorry. sorry sorry sorry sorry... i now act like super junior. you actually is damn faaaaaking cute one. i last time nvr say you la. i kidding with good friend one. he thought i backstabbing you. but i treat you so good whr will backstab u sia? that siao kia. hope his knee CLARK again]

KE: Ya! If you ask me dont post i wont post alrd! Now you blame me. I really damn sad :(

Good friend: go die la zzz (wah he sleepy again. he must be nvr sleep). siao one. you really go post such thing. den from now on dun post such thing!! (agitated again. come on chill man).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You all know my good friend is who? you all guess ok? hard to guess hor. i give you all multiple choice la.

a) Frederick
b) Xing Hui
c) Alvin
d)Brian

You all still think quite hard to guess hor? i give u all more simple one.

a) Brian
b) Brian Choo
c) Brian Choo Jun Jie
d) Show Choo

wah quite obvious hor? if you all still dunno. please look for the nearest object near you, knock it against your head. but dont too hard ok. if not your head bone later CLARK then need go hospital alrd.

BEFORE CHECKING RESULTS...


(8:03 AM) `KuanEe says:
i now trying to establish connection with gods den i go in

(8:03 AM) `KuanEe says:
establishing a connection..... du... du... du.....connected

(8:03 AM) Lihui:
hahha

(8:03 AM) `KuanEe says:
ok i now go check.

cheesepieeeeeee. i damn sian. ok. i really damn sian. really damn cheesepie. ok. fuck you deep deep. byebye.

hello everyone. i am very sad now. A friend of mine dunwan to friend me alrd. i know her for six years alrd. since sec 2, when she was white white round round short short. never did i look down on her. although she W W R R S S, which is W2R2S2, i still make friend with her. Now, she dunwan to friend me. i say hi to her, she say hi ur head. i say hello she say i crazy. she change alr la :(

hello WWRRSS friend, please be my friend. i wont say u round, white, and short. i wont say u swollen. i really wont. i am sorry, i really want u to be my friend. u are not round la.

hello friends of kuanee, if u see her, please ask her be my friend ok?

oh ya u all dunno how she look like hor. i show u all her pic la.

Hello Time, can you stop crawling and run instead?

Time, u are damn slow. Worse than Yian Ping.

Time, please run, best is run as fast as cheetah.

Time, if u dont run as fast as a cheetah, i buy otah throw at you.

Time, why are u always fast at night and slow during the day?

Time, you need to reflect.

Time, u made my friend angry.

Time, if you still make my friend angry, i tell u i take off clothes show u my tattoo ok.

Time, dont say i nvr warn u. my tattoo very scary.

Time, my tattoo is a female dragon hor. Pink colour one. u dont play play with me.

Bye Time, i now take off clothes want scare u alrd. u better be careful.

(11:46 PM) `KuanEe:
sighhhhh who bully u yianping ah

(11:47 PM) BrianChoO - im o:
how can she bully me when we haven chat for ages?lol

(11:48 PM) `KuanEe:
oh man u miss her right

(11:48 PM) BrianChoO - im o:
yes =)help me tell her that kLOLLL

:(

:(

:(

:(

:(

=(

=(

=(

=(

=(

:C

:C

:C

:C

:C

Tan Kuan Ee

Blk 335 Sembawang Close

#04-459

Singapore 750335

5 March 2010

Guan Yin Ma/Tua Bei Gong/Cai Shen Ye/Jesus/Any God

Blk Heaven

#1000000000000000000000000000000000001-888

Universe 888-Heaven

Dear Sir/Madam,

Complaint on having a Sad Life

I am writing to letter to complain about the current life i have. If you see this letter, please do not end my life yet, i still dont want to die. However, i hope you can do something to change this sad life. I will sincerely thank you for that. But, i will also blame you for your inefficient services.

On 8 Feb 1990, my sad life started. After year 2007, my life became worse.

Some suggestions for you,

1. Please let this 8 weeks of attachment pass as fast as possible just like the speed of light or sound or anything that is faster.
2. Please let me have a better brain.
3. Please give me more money.
4. Please grant me my birthday wish. ( hehe dunwan tell u all leh)
5. Please let people who deserved to die, to die.
6. Please meet me in person to discuss more. Perhaps we can come up with a 5 year plan.

Thank you for your time reading this letter.

Your faithfully,

Tan Kuan Ee

hi, 2 mins ago i just blogged. i think i shall blog again. sing u all a song ok.

ma li ki ta ra ya singapore bo laksa...... (eh shit i forget how to sing, sorry singapore, i still love you)

another song okkk this one i sure know.

ah one, ah two, ah one two three go! (techno version)

pee pee, pee pee pee, pee pee pee pee, pee pee...

pee pee happy birthday to you, pee pee pee, happy birthday to you, pee pee, happy birthday to youuuuuuu, peeeeeeeee pee pee pee peeeeee peee, happy birthday to you. PEE PEE PEE!!

wah i damn happy now. 4 more mins can go alrd. i must continue typing. so after i finish, i can leave straight away dont need think of what to do.

eh why i type so long the time still dunwan move. eh time, come on, just move man. i got to move it move it, you got to move it move it, we got to MOVE IT!

time! run faster!! i cheer for you. yi er san si wu liu qi, qi liu wu si san er yi, time time, jiayou jiayou jiayou. ok time to go. see you and good the bye.

hello everybodyyyyyy, hows life yo. 1 min ago i just blogged. i think i quite free. if not must be quite bored. what to do, this is life. what to blog abt lehhh. oh i rmb i got some peektures TEEHEEHEE.

oh man. i cannot bruetooth the peektures rehhs. muake moii turans. humphs.

25 mins more before i can leave. woohooooo.



Last friday i was too free, so... i drew this.


huans rittle tuu rittle hwee little indian, pour rittle bibe rittle sheeix rittle indian, zehven rittle egg rittle nai rittle indian, tent rittle indian boiss. kekex

hi i am here to blog for the second time today. this is how free i am.

i am fucking pissed off right now. i think you are made of plastic. you are fucking fake. please stop acting innocent and blur. it's not cute at all. it just make me fucking pissed off with you. i am not interesting in talking to you, so please keep your mouth shut. i am not interested in who you like and who you want. anyway, i think you have fucking poor taste. i am not interested in what shows you watched or whatever shit. i just think that you are fucking irritating.

Plastic: are we late alrd? (we had a 1hr15mins lunch. by right its only 45 mins)
KE: what you think?

then i ignore her. and she ask me another question.

Plastic: (there is a mosquito) is that a mosquito?
KE: duh, does that look like a tiger to you?

tmd. why am i attached in a company with this type of people. God, seriously you are not treating me very good. FML.

hihi i am bored. i think my legs quite long. teeheeheee.

oh man i think i bored until crazy alrd.

hi everyone. hows life.

i am currently having my internship and i am super sad about it. i got a sad life. tmr is the fifth day, which means end of first week. which also means i got 9 more weeks to go. which also means i got 45 more days to go. which also means 405 more hours to go. minutes and seconds i dunwan count. i will feel more sad.

come on, i need people to console me. u all want console me. please talk to me in msn. msg me to console me also can. email me also can. write letter also can. as long as u all console me can alrd. if u all read this alrd still dunwan console me u all is freaking no heart, then i dunwan friend u all alrd. sighhhhh.

anyway, my friend shimei spelling very good. i stay in sabawang and i everyday take train to harbonfront. shimei and shiyan really is sha sha fen bu qing chu. shiyan like to go wooland and she always like to go er rou (2nd floor).

sighhh life sucks. u all read alrd still dunwan console me ah? console me leh.

walao console la.

sigh.

life sucks

take drugs

kill me

pls

sighhh

hi everyone, i am having attachment right now and i am very bored. 4 hours and 3 mins more to go. life sucks.

can anyone tell me why my life sucks? please give me the correct ans. if u all can tell me why my life sucks i give u all present ok.

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

cheesepie. what to do when you are bored? blog la stupid. arbo you got thing to read meh? kekex. i very fierce hor? i now is terrorist you all careful.

eh no feel blog alrd. byebye. kekekex i think i very cute.


aiya maybe i should blog.

KE: hello blog how are you?
Blog: okok lor. you leh?
KE: I tmd sian you know.
Blog: ya i know, u know how i know?
KE: how?
Blog: COS U JUST TOLD ME MA! STUPID
KE: NABEHHHH FUCK YOU!!!

tmd what i thinking kekex i think i crazy alrd. friends, pls come mental hospital and bai nian with me. dont bring oranges ok. i dont like. bring apples or grapes.


life is meaningful. life is colourful. my life is full of colours. nabeh! WHY SO COLOURFUL!!!

i think i need to find another group of friends. my previous clique half dead, half missing, sibei jialat.

gong xi kuanee.

hello!

kekex! very near very near. cheesepie..

ok nvm. happy lunar new year to everyone!

guan yin ma please bless me from above. if not i going meet you soon alrd. tua bei gong, please bless me also. help guan yin ma to bless me. i scared she not enough powers to help me cos this time really jialat + gg + ( any words you like ). marketing really is ji dan chao ya dan. wu gui wang ba dan.

TODAY, 8 FEB 2010, IS NOT A HAPPY DAY =(

DANGER!!

BEWARE!!!

STAY AWAY!!!!

THERE IS A BOMB IN YISHUN (source: yang lihui. ylihui@live.com.sg please ask her for more information). HIGHLY DANGEROUS!!! PLEASE MIGRATE IF YOU STILL WANT TO STAY ALIVE. AS FAR AS POSSIBLE. DONT THINK YOU ALL RUN FROM SINGAPORE TO USA THEN U ALL VERY SAFE OK. THIS BOMB IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS. YOU ALL NEED MIGRATE TO NORTHPOLE OR MAYBE MARS.

Today, lihui tell me her sister is 炸弹/bomb. Me is dont believe her. cos last time me is thought they look alike. but after she told me her sister is 炸弹/bomb, i went online and research. i went to goggle for yang lihui and yang shuhui. and..... I FINALLY REALISE I WAS WRONG! THEY DONT LOOK ALIKE!!!

results for the goggle:

yang lihui

her sister

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

HOWEVER, no worries! lihui is got go for bomb vaccination. So... she says...... (the top right picture got error ok.. should be "the", not "he".

But lihui is an ass. i hope one day the bomb explode and she becomes... (see picture below)

ok. i should be studying right?

KuanEe: YA LAH THEN U STILL COME BLOG?!

Tua Bei Gong, can give me your handphone number or address? I need to have a heart to heart, xin to xin, face to face, lian to lian talk with you. Guan Yin Ma, if you see Tua Bei Gong, help me tell him i am looking for him ok? thanks. Sun Wu Kong, if you see Guan Yin Ma, help me ask her tell Tua Bei Gong i looking for her ok? Zhu Ba Jie, If u see Sun Wu Kong, ask him tell Guan Yin Ma that i am looking for Tua Bei Gong if he see her ok. Er Lang Shen, if u see Zhu Ba Jie, ask him tell Sun Wu Kong that i am looking for Tua Bei Gong if he see him ok?

ta ma de. what am i thinking. what am i typing. if u finish reading, u need to think what you are thinking also.

Hello people!

1 more week, which means 7 more days, which means 168 more hrs, which more 10080 minutes, which means 604800 seconds to my birthday. Remember to give present ok! teeheehee!

Byebye! \m/